Every parent or an adult is striving to give their best to their kids, and no kid or a parent is perfect. The biggest challenge for all parents is to handle their tantrums, and many times we feel that we have inappropriately dealt with the situation. There are no set rules or lessons to take the kids as every child is unique in its way and dealing with them depends on their temperament.
The day the kid is grown enough that he starts showing tantrums, you, as a parents need to find out a best way to deal with it. The standard methods used are by diverting their minds to some other exciting activity. It would help if parents were mindful of how you deal with them as your reaction to the tantrum will significantly influence your child’s response.
Respect their feelings as well: Some toddlers start showing tantrums at tiny and silly things like spilling the milk, dropping the plate of his favorite food, not allowing them to eat the same stuff, not getting their favorite chocolate, not allowing them to spill the water from their bottle, etc. Do not react to them by saying, “Why are you crying? What has happened? It is just a small thing??” You might not cry, but definitely, you will be upset. So instead of shouting at them. Explain the kid calmly to stop crying, and if this is spoiled, they will get more. So instead of shouting, validate their feeling.
Control your laughter: Imagine you are upset with something, and your partner or any nearby laughs at you as you are shouting, clueless, and behaving weirdly? The same things happen with kids too. We understand that some tantrums are too funny but try to control yourself and not laugh else; it will again undermine their emotion. You can make the child understand what he was doing was not right once he is calm. No matter the kids are young and innocent, they also have their self-respect and start feeling hurt at a very young age. Feeling hurt or disrespected is a natural feeling which develops with age.
Be patient and calm: I know you will feel ‘It is easy to be said than done,’ I agree but losing temper, patience, and yelling at the kids will only aggravate the situation. Kids are brilliant, and they can very nicely make out your emotion and accordingly try to get away with their tantrum further. If you stay calm when your toddler is throwing a tantrum, eventually, the child will soon adapt to it too and will come to know that no matter how many tantrums they throw, their unreasonable demand may not always be fulfilled. On the other hand, if you start yelling at them, they will soon understand that if they show their emotion, the parent does not understand and starts shouting. This will develop into a habit as the kid grows, and soon things might go out of control.
Be passionate: I know at times, parents too are too much loaded with work and other responsibilities, and every time, not in the same state of mind to deal with a toddler. But if you walkway when the child is upset, crying, afraid, or angry at this time that they will need the parents the most. Sit next to the child, caress him and give him a tight hug and say, “please calm down and ask what is the matter.” The more you will console him, the better the kid will explain what he wants to convey. This behavior will help you to build trust and make the bond between you and your child healthier. Once the child has grown up in a teenager or even an adult, he will have the confidence to discuss with you whatever he wants as he knows that his parents are always standing by his side for his good.
Don’t bribe: This is a standard method used by many parents to distract the child. We have often heard parents telling ‘Be quiet, then I shall buy you a chocolate or a toy or a thing which the kid had been demanding from quite some time,’ or like finish, your homework then shall buy you your favorite drink or ice cream. If this method of handling the kid continues for a longer time, soon, this will become a habit, and the child will get all his desires fulfilled by showing fake tantrums. Try some other techniques to get away with the temper rather than every time using this technique, which will be more harmful in the long run
Avoid punishment: Reasonable punishment is acceptable, but only once the child is calm. If you try to impose it when the child is already upset, that will only aggravate the situation and not do any good to the problem. On the other hand, many parents give physical punishment, which is not at all advisable no matter what. Beating the child, yelling, and holding the child tightly; all these will have severe repercussions on the child’s emotional and mental health. Control your temper as a parent and identify why the child has done a sure thing rather than start screaming without even figuring out the root cause.
All parents face challenges right from birth to the kid becoming adults managing their needs, emotions, anger, and many other needs. Every kid, situation, and parent are different individuals, and we cannot impose any perfect rule in dealing with the kid. Give some time to your relationship and make attempts to make the bond stronger and stronger. Trust me with little patience, perseverance, love, and care; all will be fine. After all, for a parent, nothing is impossible for the well-being of the child.
Blessed are people who have kids to show tantrums and ask those who are praying for having kids every day. So thank God and let the journey pass by.